In the rain

Oh the adventures the day to day provide.

I am currently in my study, posted up on the futon with Lana Del Ray radio humming from my computer speakers. 

"Kiss me hard before you go.... I've got that summer time, summer time sadness,"

It's nearly impossible for me to get comfortable because of the ever present pain in my right thigh, neck, and shoulder. Why might you ask? Well because after our on location shoot in Northampton, MA a group of friends and myself decided to go go-karting. 30 minutes later I'm stationary in the track after slamming into one of the walls at 35mph to avoid a collision. Thank god for helmets, neck braces, and seat belts. I ended up being fine apart from the whiplash and seatbelt burn.

Today we uploaded and turned in our shoot from yesterday, apart from that there isn't much else exciting to share about my school day. It was cold, gray, and rainy here in Mass. Everyone was ready to go home and I was irrationally emotional upon waking this morning to begin with. However, when I got home a second wind hit me and all I wanted to do was go shoot in the rain.

There happens to be these two intersecting mountains that I pass maybe once or twice a week when I'm headed towards Amherst that I have developed a visual love affair with. Infront of them stretching from the road almost a mile back towards the mountain is an open horse ranch. It fascinates me because you would be hard-pressed to find anything not tucked away into trees. But there it was, a little slice of heaven cleared in the middle of no where. I decided that this was exactly what I was craving; grabbed my Mark III, tripod and took off in the Cavalier by myself for once. 

Of course there is a story to go with this as well. When I approach these mountains I've come to know so well, I see that right before the ranch there is an "excavation site", so I decided to park there to shoot. There I am in my thrifted lace up boots, skinnys and a flannel in the pouring rain; I have my camera inside of a plastic grocery bag on my tripod, with a hole for the lens. I'm climbing dirt mounds trying to get the shot that I want and getting soaked.

It was glorious.

After I wrap up my shoot I realize that I do not have my brand new Versace eye glasses that I came with.

I breathe, and start looking.

I climb up and down this 20 ft mound of mud searching and searching. Finally, digging through the brush, there they are in their crushed glory. Fear not, because they cost only $25 to replace. I climb back into my car absolutely caked in mud and rocks, with a stupid smile on my face. 

Soon I was back at my apartment and sunk nose deep into a long bubble bath to sooth my aching body. I needed the fresh air, I needed the rain, I needed the suds. 

I feel good.

I will now head over to a classmates to enjoy some dinner and maybe a movie. 

Life is pretty ok.

© Emily Rose Darrow

© Emily Rose Darrow

M.I.A: Post-traumatic update

So I went ahead and tanked my blog views, I know I know. Clearly from my last post, the end of my time at Columbia College of Chicago became quite chaotic. I do not intend on this happening again, and will be more frequent with my updates once more. I have missed the blog scene immensely. I feel mentally crippled when I am not writing frequently, and now that I'm in a speciality school I'm hardly exercising my creative penmanship. 

I digress. 

I would like to quickly update you all on the last month and a half because frankly, it doesn't have much relevance anymore. There are many more exciting things occurring in the now that I would like to gush about than what has already come and gone... however it is helpful to fill in the gaps for those of you who don't follow me personally.

Let's make a list shall we? 
Everybody loves lists. 

• Allie didn't end up moving that Sunday, I actually ended up leaving about a week prior to all of my friends.
• I was more or less ok with the way my final project turned out, maybe not thrilled, maybe I'm too close to it still to have an objective opinion. 
• I went for the leap of faith in coming to the Hallmark Institute of Photography in Turners Falls, MA in May and have now been residing in New England for the last three weeks.
• My roommate Aubrey and I have a terrible bug infestation problem that I will probably address regularly. 
• No second thoughts, Hallmark is the place for me. 

Now quickly let me fill you in on the things I have already experienced at Hallmark...

• Received more equipment than I know what to do with. (Cannon Mark III, 24-70mm lens, light meter, reflectors, tripods, harddrives, blah, blah, blah.)
• Sat in awe of my professors. ALL of them. (David Turner and Gregory Heisler, just look them up.)
• Drooled in awe of my surroundings (I live on a bridge overlooking god crafted fairytale landscape, no lies.)
• Took photos in Greenfield, MA and Brattleboro, VT.
• Took photos of a waterfall, while in the basin of the waterfall, during a thunderstorm.
• Breathed some fresh air, took a second look at nature, had good nights rest.

Overall, I am very, very happy. I am meeting some incredible people that I think I will be developing very deep personal and professional relationships with. 

Me (center) with some classmates from Hallmark on our impromptu waterfall shoot, right after the rain subsided.
(Photo by Jason Frank)

Now!!! I have already talked about more past-tense garbage than I wanted to, when what I really wanted to talk about was the carrer direction I am SO excited to discuss and start pursuing. So begins the long explanation of what will eventually be a condensed proposal for organizations and business that I'm looking for support from.

I want to open a studio in Detroit, Michigan.

Some of you read that and laughed audibly and some of you are quietly scolding under your breath, "What the hell is she talking about?" Maybe a few open hearts and open minds are smirking, continuing to read in the curiosity of where I am going with this. Well, here's how I have come to this realization in my future...

For a long time I had asked myself where I wanted to end up in my adult life; Do I want to be in the city? Would I miss the backroads too much? Do I want to be a famous photographer? You have to go to New York, overseas, or at least Chicago for that... right? Do I want a family? Do I want to be close to my family? What kind of photography do I want to do? What kind of photography is going to matter?

What I did know is that I wanted all of those things, and that I have a knack for portrait photography. Initially I equated with being successful or having a family as one or the other, and portait photography was what everyone does to pay the rent. My family all resides in Michigan and I didn't want to have to run off to feel like I had accomplished something in my career, but where was my purpose going to lie in the midwest state of Michigan? Then I remember what I had been overlooking all along, the city that had always been in my backyard. The diamond in the rough that so many people are trying to polish to shine once again. It's Motor City, and it was mine all along.

I am part of a generation that lacks icons. Hollywood isn't what it used to be, music isn't what it used to be, invention and discovery isn't what it used to be, social advocation isn't what it used to be. So I asked myself a question, what am I going to have to look back on? What's the point? I've finally found it in my home state. I want to be apart of the revitalization of Detroit. I want to be apart of a bigger movement and rebuild that I hope I can tell my kids about. We'll be walking downtown Detroit through the healthy hustle and bustle, and I'll tell them about when I was young how I was one of the believers that put the city back together. I want to be apart of a movement, not sit back and wait for it to happen. 

Honestly I could go on and on and on about this for probably a novels length, so I'll try to keep it as direct as possible. 

Right now, the rough sketch of this plan is to open my own portrait studio right downtown. Now this won't be any portrait studio. I want to provide servies for the families of Detroit that can't afford things like senior photos, family shoots, engagement and wedding photos. So many have shown the decay and poor conditions of Detroit, I think it's time that they see how beautiful these people are despite their condition. Even more than that, Detroit's condition isn't for entertainment, these are families who want to document their first borns, their family's growth, just as much as any other American family. 

I want to provide this service for them cost free. 

I am interested in contacting the local hospital, business, and organizations for support in donations, grants, and sponsoring. I'm hoping that there will be other people that are just as passionate about something like this. I also hope that I will be able to put together a crew of people that I want to work with me. Hair and makeup stylist, assistant, etc. Others that can see the potential in the city of Detroit.

Right now, baby steps. I need to organize my thoughts and start researching who I need to get in contact with. It's all about connections. There are a few initial steps I plan on taking, and individuals that I plan on contacting that I think will give me more concreate plans to share with you all. Hopefully over the next ten months this project will develop and I will be able to leave Hallmark and dive right in. What do you think? Who do you know?

I'm sick of hearing about how old I am, or the odds, or the danger. 

If you want to make a difference, you do it. 

So watch me.

"You never have to ask
I'm gonna love you, 
till you start lookin' back."