Lonestar, where are you, out tonight

My eyelids are heavy.

Norah Jones is serenading me in the background as I try to compose linar thoughts. So many things have happened in the last few days my head is spinning. In quiet moments like this I ask myself how I'm going to pull it all off. But seriously, how am I going to pull it all off? I suppose all I can do is wait and see.

Ah, Sarah McLachlan. Pandora knows me so well.
"I need some distraction, oh beautiful release. Memories seep from my veins,"

Sometimes, we feel hopeless. Today, I feel hopeless. I don't want to be a perpetual pessimist, but sometimes even small beauties can't trump the heartache. I spent a long weekend in Ohio; I meant to shoot some parts of my final project (inspired by paintings by Jack Vettriano example below) only to realize that I had brought my tripod, but not the plate to attach to my camera in order to use the tripod. While in tough situations I am usually resourceful, I was at a loss. I just wanted to sleep and give up. I think sometimes it's ok to give up though, not for eternity, just for a little bit. Giving up lets go of the worry and allows us a moment to breathe.

Example of a Jack Vettriano painting. They have always inspired me and I'm more than excited to try and incorporate his style into my photographs.

Adjusting- my back hurts. 

When I return from my disheartening trip, I rush to class and struggle with my consciousness as my head bobbed forward through poetry workshop discussion. Finally when class gets out I am excited to go home and tell Allie about my weekend and terrible day. I am then greeted with unwanted information... Allie is moving out on Sunday.

This came like a swift punch to the gut. Suddenly I feel like there are a thousand things happening faster than I can handle them; How am I going to finish my photo project? How am I going to move out of Chicago in four weeks? How am I going to get all of the furniture I need for my move? How am I going to have to refurbish the furniture I have? Am I going to be able to get my car fixed? Is my car going to hold up? How am I going to move ten hours away in five weeks?

How am I going to say bye to Allie in four days?

Life is terrifying, and I think that's something we all have to accept. Things happen quickly and we can either repel and ignore them or we can move through these obstacles with as much faith in ourselves as we can muster. 

I know today spoke less about my creative adventures, but sometimes one just needs to vent.

Heavy eyelids, say goodnight. 

Until next time. 

A poem I workshopped for class, enjoy:

Afternoon

How nice would it be?

to tread Chicago sidewalks,

inhale the sweet spring air,

and a drag of nicotine.

I turn my countenance to the sky;

Sunshine bakes my pores.

No cigarette,

I settle for oxygen.